


And Hold Me In Your Arms

by 17days



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, Stucky - Freeform, Stucky trash, its just fluff cuddling and making out, thats basically about it, threw a lil bit of angst in there just because
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 07:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7705444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/17days/pseuds/17days
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Steve held Bucky and 1 time Bucky held Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Hold Me In Your Arms

The first time Bucky does it, its mid winter, 1939 and he smells of musty bars and old smoke. Steve can smell it as soon as Bucky enters the small, chilly apartment hours after Steve knew he’d finished his shift at the docks. By the way Steve could hear Bucky’s hey footfalls and occasional bumping against things - the doorframe, the wall, the kitchen countertop - Steve could tell Bucky was drunk. 

“Buck?” Steve calls from the threadbare living room couch, not taking his eyes off the drawing of a New York fire-escape he was currently working on.

Bucky stumbles around the corner, “Hiya Steve.” he sighs, and theres something in his voice, a heavy, tired thing, completely lacking in Bucky’s usual cocky drawl that finally makes Steve look up from his drawing and look at him.

Bucky’s shoulders are sagging, and Bucky looks more tired than he has in a long time, which is saying something considering the overly long days Bucky has been working lately. He leans against the wall, eyes unfocused, staring out the window across the room, actively not looking at Steve. 

“Bucky…?” Steve says, putting down his sketchbook and pencil, “What’s wrong?” 

Bucky opens his mouth, then shuts it again, passing a hand over his face, shaking his head. He drops his coat on the floor and walks unsteadily over to where Steve is sitting on the couch, leaning against the armrest. Bucky still doesn’t say anything, instead he climbs over Steve’s lap, straddling Steve’s small waist with his knees on either sides of Steve’s hips, wraps his arms around Steve’s waist, and tucking his head under his chin. Steve sits there awkwardly for a moment, arms hanging suspended in the air, not really sure where to put his arms. Him and Bucky has always been touchy, clasping hands on shoulders and throwing casual arms over each other constantly, but they had never been this touchy before. 

Steve eventually settled his arms over Bucky’s back, thumb grazing over Bucky’s side, because he knew Bucky, and he knew that he needed comfort right now, even though he wasn’t sure what he was giving that comfort for. He was surprised at how natural this position felt, but then again everything has been natural with Bucky. Nothing ever felt forced or uncomfortable between them. 

“Lost my job at the hardware store.” Bucky mutters gravelly into Steve’s collarbone, heaving a long sigh.

“Aw Buck, we’ll manage. I can pick up another couple shifts at the bookstore and we’ll do fine.” Steve replies, rubbing his thumb down Bucky’s side reassuringly. 

Bucky tightens his arms around Steve’s waist and shifts so that his face is in the crook of Steve’s neck, Steve can feel him exhaling shakily as he nods his head. Minutes pass and Steve hears Bucky’s breath even out, and feels Bucky’s muscles relax into sleep. Steve shifts down the couch a bit, turning them slightly so all of Bucky’s weight isn’t on him, and he falls asleep shortly after, their arms still around each other.

——————

The second time it happens, Bucky comes home to find a despondent Steve sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the paper resting on the table. Bucky can see the red print from the other side of the room, and when he walks closer, he sees the 4F staring at him from the page. Steve gives a loud sniff and wipes his nose roughly on the back of his hand, turning a fraction away from Bucky as he approaches. 

Bucky flips the paper over and takes Steve’s wrist from where it’s sitting on his lap. He knows words never work in these situations for him or Steve so he pulls gently on his arm until Steve turns to him, red eyes and blotchy cheeks, and follows Bucky as he leads Steve over to the couch and pushes Steve onto it, before folding himself over Steve, tucking his face into Steve’s neck like he did that time awhile ago. 

He waits, and slowly Steve snakes his arms around Bucky’s waist, exhaling a shaky laugh. “Thanks Buck.” Steve says, scritching at the hair at the base of Bucky’s neck. Bucky just hums and pulls him closer. Bucky knew how he felt about Steve, he wasn’t sure how Steve felt about him, but moments like this felt like they had forever to work it out. 

——————

The moment that thought left his mind was when Bucky receives drafting orders one day in the mail. Steve finds him standing in the kitchen, glaring at the black A1 stamp staring at him from the page. Looking at it over his shoulder, Steve swallowed and said with a voice that was much too strained, “So, you got in then.”

Bucky turned slowly and looked up from the paper, face blank. Steve must read something on his face though, because he turns away and walks over to the couch, sitting with his legs stretched over the length of the couch, back resting against the armrest. He looks up at Bucky when he notices that he hasn’t moved, and beckons him over, grasping his hands and pulling Bucky to him.

Bucky sits over Steve’s legs unsurely, not really sure why Steve is doing this, but Steve just rolls his eyes impatiently and grabs Bucky’s hands, pulling them around him, and waits for Bucky to put his head in the crook of his neck. Bucky does, and revels in the feeling of Steve’s hand rubbing the back of his neck, thin artist’s fingers occasionally carding in the back of his hair. 

After a moment, in a burst of affection for Steve, and a fleeting spark of courage, he pulls back from Steve’s neck and with half lidded eyes, locks eyes with Steve, who has a questioning eyebrow raised, and pulls his hands from around Steve’s waist and places them on the back of his neck, pulling him in. His lips brush Steve’s, and he waits for a reaction. 

A second later, Steve pushes forward and collides his lips with Bucky’s, and its a little sloppy but they both don’t care because they’re kissing and it’s something Bucky’s wanted since before he can remember. Bucky pulls back for a second and tries to see what Steve is thinking, but he’s is already pulling Bucky back in by the back of his neck, Bucky tilts his head and deepens the kiss, taking the smaller man’s bottom lip in his mouth and sucking gently. Steve drops his hands to Bucky’s hips and pulls him closer, Bucky bites down on his lip and Steve gasps, Bucky using the moment to flick his tongue into Steve’s oh so warm mouth, and Steve honest to god moans. And Bucky has to pull away because he has to know, and eyes still closed, he rests his forehead on Steve’s and breathes out, “How long?” 

Steve pulls back and stares into Bucky’s eyes with damp eyes, “Before I can even remember.” And Bucky has to laugh wetly at that himself, because they’ve just wasted so much time and of course it would be now that he finds out, when he’s about to ship off in a couple days. 

“God, Steve. You shoulda said something.” Bucky whispers against Steve’s lips, and Steve pulls him in again, their lips connecting in a slower, deeper kiss that ignites Bucky’s insides on fire. Steve’s lips are salty with tears that Bucky can’t tell if they’re his or Steve’s but it doesn’t matter because even if he just gets this one moment with Steve before he goes off to die in a war, he relishes in the rightness of it. And they both try not to think about it, but in the back of their minds they both think that if this is all they get, it’ll be enough.

——————

The fourth time it happens Bucky wakes up on a cot in what he can only presume is a medical tent after Azzano. He feels a pressure on his left arm and looks over to see Steve’s sleeping head on the crook of his elbow. “Steve?” He jostles his arm slightly.

The blond jolts awake, sitting up with a gasped, “Buck?” grabbing his half numb hand, “How’re you feeling?”

Bucky looks up at the roof of the tent, and in a soft voice says, “I don’t know Steve. I don’t know what they did to me.” 

Steve frowns and tightens his grip on Bucky’s hand. “You’re going to be ok Buck. I’m here now.”

Bucky moves his gaze from the ceiling to Steve’s face, searches for something there and must find it, because the corner of his mouth curls up into an almost-smirk and he pulls Steve’s hand to his chest. “Yeah, you are.” His eyes droop and his grip on Steve’s hand loosens just a fraction. Steve looks into the tired eyes of his best friend and lets out a breath he feels he’s been holding ever since he found out that the 107th had been taken by Hydra. 

Steve climbs up on the cot and rests back against the wall of the tent, he pulls an exhausted Bucky onto his lap and curls his arms around his back, tucking Bucky’s head under his chin. “Can’t believe you can pick me up now.” Bucky mumbles against Steve’s chest. 

Steve huffs a laugh and presses a kiss to the top of Bucky’s head. He can feel Bucky’s pulse against his chin and his breath against his chest. They’re going to be ok. 

—————————

“Bucky?” Steve asks cautiously. Bucky can’t really blame Steve for being cautious, he’d been lurking by the doorway of Steve’s bedroom for about half an hour now and hadn’t said a word. Not that thats an irregular thing since Steve took him in after the Potomac fiasco about two months before, Bucky rarely uses words anymore. They just get jumbled up too much in his mind. 

Bucky steps into the room only slightly and Steve could tell Bucky was trying to figure out what to say because he fidgets with the hair elastic he keeps around his wrist. Bucky’s hair was almost past his shoulders now, but wouldn’t let Steve cut it. Steve didn’t really mind, he thought it suited Bucky. 

Bucky won’t meet Steve’s gaze, he just looks at the wall to the side of the room. Bucky’s frown increases, “I think… I remember-” He cuts himself off and his gaze drops from the wall to the floor.

Steve prompts him, “Was it before the war or after?” Steve has gotten pretty good at helping Bucky complete the shards of memory Bucky sometimes finds in his brain. They usually start by narrowing down the time frame. 

Bucky shakes his head irritably, like he’s shaking off a fly. “Not-“ He huffs and shakes his head again, “Both.”

Steve slowly gets up off the bed and pulls Bucky by the hand to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. “Was it to do with me?” 

Bucky stills, “Yes. Us.” 

Steve’s heart thuds. “Bucky, what do you remember?”

Bucky finally meets Steve’s eyes, “We weren’t just - we’re we?” and Bucky’s gaze drops momentarily down to Steve’s mouth and darts right back up again. 

“No Buck, we weren’t.” Steve says. Bucky realizes he’s still holding his hand - the flesh one - and is slowly running his thumb over Bucky’s palm. 

Bucky surges forward and presses his lips against Steve’s, Steve is stunned for a moment but then tilts his head and presses back. Bucky runs his tongue over Steve’s bottom lip, but Steve pulls back harshly, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Bucky how much do you remember? Of us?”

Bucky brings his hands up to Steve’s neck and pulls him in again resting his forehead against Steve’s, “All of it.” he says, his breath ghosting over Steve’s mouth. 

Steve finally pushes forward and his lips find Bucky’s again, his hands travelling to Bucky’s hips and gripping hard. 

Later, when they’re lips are swollen and red, Bucky pulls away and fiddles with the collar of Steve’s shirt, “I remember something else.” he says, and pushes Steve so that he’s leaning against the headboard. Steve takes Bucky’s hands and pulls him in, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s back. Bucky is stiff at first, but slowly lets himself relax against Steve’s chest. 

“We did this a lot?” Bucky says, posing it as a question, asking for his memories to be confirmed. 

“Yeah Buck we did.” Steve replies, pressing a kiss to the top of Bucky’s head.

————————

“Steve?” Bucky walks into their apartment after his weekly Shield issued psychotherapist appointment and finds Steve sitting on the couch in their living room. He’s staring out the window over the back of the couch at the afternoon New York fog covering the tops of the buildings. Bucky walks over to the couch and sits down across from Steve on the couch so that their facing each other, their feet touching. “Steve?” Bucky says again softly.

Steve turns to Bucky with a small frown on his face, “How’d it go Buck?” Bucky knows these weekly appointments are hard on Steve, over the past 2 years since Bucky had started going to them, it had been a constant waiting game to see if Bucky had made some progress. 

Bucky smiles and tries to rub out the crease between Steve’s eyebrows with his thumb. “All clear.” He drops his hand from Steve’s forehead and instead takes Steve’s hand from where it had been resting beside Steve on the couch.

Steve’s eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly. “What?” He says in a soft voice, a smile slowly spreading across his face. 

Bucky’s smile grows into a grin. “Completely clear. No chance of Winter Soldier relapse and I’m on the way to complete recovery of my long term memories.”

Steve’s grinning now and Bucky can see tears forming in his eyes, he lets out a small laugh and lets himself be pulled into Bucky’s arms, Bucky tilts his head up and presses their lips together, Steve’s arms come up to frame Bucky’s face and he deepens the kiss, slowly licking his way into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky loses himself for a moment in the taste of Steve, and he runs his palm over Steve’s lower back under the hem of his shirt.

They pull away eventually with the need for air and Steve tucks his forehead against Bucky’s neck. “I’m so happy for you Buck.” Steve says, wrapping his arms tightly around Bucky’s waist, Bucky holding on just as tight. Bucky knows its been a long road to get to where they are now, but as Steve presses his lips to the underside of his jaw, Bucky thinks it was all worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first Stucky fic, hope ya'll liked it. Please leave Kudos and comments if you didnt absolutely hate it. :) Title taken from Ed Sheeran's "Kiss me"


End file.
